Secret excuses

I don't know where I am right now. I have a decent salary, I can usually afford stuff I want and still save up, but I'm not happy either. I have ideas I want to work on, but when it's time to start, I either get distracted by other ideas or make excuses not to do anything.

Secret excuses, to be specific. Excuses that seem valid, but are unacceptable and have the same effect as a lousy excuse. Like, I'm too tired, too busy, can do it later, or some other essentially indefensible reason.

I could say I'm burnt out, but I find myself asking quickly -- am I? Or is it just another stupid excuse not to push myself to be better everyday. Sure, I've made "It's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever" my motto for a lot of things, but recently, it's not working and my gut feel ignores me like my dolphin plushie.

I love learning something new and using it for work. Even more, seeing a lot of people get productive with it or find it very cool. Then I go out and do the same for every day the rest of my life. That I think, makes me sleep well at night and not the big bucks I earn. If I could find a way to do that more (bingo, another secret excuse), I'll probably have less posts here.

Telephone call spam

My residential telephone line is about two weeks old. Got it as a bundle to my DSL subscription, so I'm generally happy about it. While I don't have some features like long-distance calling or mobile-phone calling, it's not much of an issue since I have Skype and I basically live on the Internet. Today however, I got my first call from a complete stranger. Here's how it goes:

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(Phone rings)
Me: Hello
Guy: Hi Sir, sa Super8 po. Gusto lang namin itanong kung kelan kayo dadaan ulit?
Me: Ha?
Guy: Super8 po sir, yung supermarket. Kelan po kayo dadaan ulit?
Me: (in a slightly sarcastic tone) Bakit?
Guy: Wala lang sir, para makapasyal kayo ulit.
Me: Di ko alam
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What the hell was that all about? Sure, I gave my mobile number to Super8 when I applied for their Negocho card, but not my new telephone number. Also, to the more important question, why the hell are they making unsolicited calls and offers? I'm not interested in getting offers let alone invitations to "come and drop by" out of the blue. If they're selling something like the iPhone 4S or an iPad 2 at a discounted price, I might drop by. But seeing as they have nothing of interest to most people except food and water, I find little reason to make calls to complete strangers even if they were just playing around with the phone buttons and happened to call my number.

Fighting sleep: A Losing Battle

ODG. How dull can things get? From an application developer to a glorified HR assistant. After my first project, which was a great success as far as my previous projects in my former company was concerned, I came back to the office, with nothing on the agenda save for Facebook, Twitter and Gmail. I welcomed the short vacation I got last week, but starting this week, I'm the newest addition to a team managing employee assignments.

So it's with a bored-out-of-this-universe sensation that I'm starting to gloss over spreadsheets, taking note of where resources are going, and working a bit longer. My daily activities while I'm in my adjustment stage consist mainly of pixel counting, trying to stay awake, and pretending to be working by opening my mail (which I've done for what feels like the 947th time today).

Tomorrow, there will be a change of environment, so I hope that'll provide some distraction. My eyebags are bigger than a Persian war elephant at the moment and the eyes they're covering are drooping with every key I press. At least it's almost 4pm and I'm on the last few hours of this boring routine. Unfortunately, my body isn't cooperating in the slightest. I feel like slumping on the floor and snoring in the middle of the room (I wonder what'll happen if I do that).

Distant Nipping

Nearly a year after my resignation from my previous company, their employees' attitudes still continue to pester me.

After a former student sought my advice regarding his dealings with some of the people there, I was surprised to find out his complaint made a big splash. Part of my advice made his case, so naturally I was dragged into the issue. At the moment, I know not what information has been spread about my advice, but I suppose it has travelled as fast as email. As far as I know, it's been kept to a select number of people, but news about it seems to have reached the ears of curious others as well.

While I am neither pleased or unhappy about the turn of events, I cannot help but wonder how it will all turn out. There have been people who have voiced their support of my views, there have been others who question the neutrality of my actions. However, it would be foolish to the point of optimism if I do not anticipate that there will be those who will see my message as antagonistic and malicious. A cruel reminder that meanings are in people, not in words.

Still, it would only be right to lay out my meaning of it. After all, the most infallible of meanings can only come from the author. Interpretation by others is bound to fall into false context and bias. Even a committee of a hundred people would be hard-pressed to arrive at my exact thoughts and sentiments. So without further ado, let the ignorance and misinterpretation cease.

1. The email was a solicited reaction - No different from a supermodel with a huge zit on her nose asking if she's pretty. A question was asked, I found no obstruction to reply. It is not against the law, my response was in context, and nothing I wrote was false. I saw nothing damaging by responding to it and my third point will actually expound a bit more.
2. Reading the email objectively would not create an issue - Of course, why would it? The only course of action in the email was to avoid confrontation. I maintained a civil tone and a fair evaluation of how the situation could've proceeded without the heated exchange. Unless the reader had bias previous to reading the email, they would see it in the only way the email was intended to be read: a fair evaluation.
3. Culture definitely has some part - For some time, Filipino culture on perception of straight-to-the-point conversation has always puzzled me. I've never enjoyed beating around the bush and it is definitely the same here. Moreover, the observation of being onion-skinned when it comes to frankness seems to be the case here. But to save one's face as opposed to admitting one is wrong is not good enough for me. Yes, that's easier said than done, but to do it is the mark of integrity.

To truly discover the motives of all parties though, maybe for the meantime, it would be wise to let things unfold. For those holding grudges and having bias prior to reading my email however, I rest in the befitting words of Albus Dumbledore.

"It is far easier to forgive someone for being wrong, than for being right"

Boundaries

While riding on an FX this morning from Katipunan to 20th Avenue (via P. Tuazon Blvd), I was charged 12 pesos, 2 more than what I was usually charged. The driver talked for about a minute why I was supposed to pay 12 pesos and not 10 (and not 15 either as charged by some unscrupulous drivers whose plate numbers are at the bottom of this post) while I gave him the tiniest bit of my attention.

My initial (and current) perception was that PUV fare was computed using distance. First four kilometers, the flat rate, then a certain rate after that. However, that seems only applicable to PUJs and buses; FX operators seem to have their own universe. Now, to the driver's explanation...

20th avenue is a boundary. Get off before that, it's 12 pesos (I still don't get why, because most drivers just charge me 10 pesos). Get off after that, it's 15 pesos. Thankfully, he didn't mean that literally because he agreed to drop me off at the west side of 20th avenue instead of the east side. Just so you know though, the distance between these two sides is about 25 feet or so.

Anyway, through this bit of insight, I have to ask:

"Does that also mean if I board the vehicle, say, from J.P. Rizal Street (a little over a kilometer before arriving at 20th Avenue), I'll still get charged the same rate from the farthest location within that boundary?"

Seems unfair to me.

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Now, for the blacklist (avoid riding these PUVs if you can):

• PVS 879
• PXE 626
• PYK 630
• TVB 340
• TXP 498

Thoughts on leaving a company

I'm a happy employee these days. I have a decent job, a nice work area, a reasonably fast computer, tasks that are matched for my skill level and provide challenge, colleagues who understand the meaning of teamwork, competent managers and a company that matches my career goal: make the world a smarter and better place to live in.

But not all was always well though. My previous company was an ass. To be specific, its employees. No, they didn't try to kill me or call me names, but it was a death sentence for a career that wanted to reach far above the clouds and the stratosphere.

My line of specialty has always been in software engineering. Building web sites. Yeah, that's what I find interesting. The crazy thing is that I was only able to do that abour 20% of the time. The rest of the time, I was busy attending equipment evaluation meetings, connecting printers to the network, cleaning computers of viruses, answering odd queries on the phone like, "Where should we buy a camera?", and 7 dozen things that aren't remotely related to web development.

so I resigned last May, hoping to end my disastrous streak in that company. Wrapped up my work, but had to turn things over to someone who had a different skillset than mine, so my documentation was deemed inadequate. Yeah, I know. Kind of like a dermatologist getting scolded for not being able to do a heart operation because the heart surgeon left for another company and didn't give a 50-volume crash course on how to do a bypass.

Next up was my clearance. Oddly enough, every single office signed it without a fuss. Know why? I had no administrative, property or financial obligations left to satisfy. So my clearance was good to go right?

Hell no. A few weeks right after I left, one of their systems that I built before broke down. And before I know it, my clearance was on hold indefinitely for that reason. I tried to help them out, which was the professional thing to do, but they wanted me to go over and fix it. My new company had restrictions that prevented me from doing so, so I told them I could only provide limited assistance. Their answer? They believed what I was saying was a bunch of crap and the second to the last signature required on my clearance was signed hoping that as friends, I would go the extra mile.

Such a comment was said in an outburst and might have been reasonable to them given the circumstances, but it was still unacceptable. And in any case, it is a wrong assumption to bring up the clause of friendship for business. Even now, I'm at a loss on how they arrived at such a conclusion. So if it's to each his own now, I'm going to defend the honor of my company. Because so far, they've proved they deserve it more.

So I played along, even talked to someone who might be able to help and a demo was scheduled. Took several days before I even got a realistic date, but at least it's on. Two days from now. They've been throwing petty distractions at me like, "Oh, where's your key?" and "Hey, the evaluation for the first half is done. You'll get some extra cash if you make yours.", just so they can prolong the discussion. I cannot count how many times I've said to myself, "Yeah, whatever. Can we just finish the important matters first?"

I now know what I have to do. Demonstrate that it works. Get them to say that my clearance will be released upon seeing it work. Hope for the best. If the best doesn't come and in its place the worst, then it's time to burn bridges.

I officially want nothing to do with your company or its people again.

Blood boil

I really need to rant.

Working for government sucks. Separating from a government agency, even more.

I had resigned about 45 days ago, but still, when I visited a while ago, my clearance was still not signed! Why? I haven't the vaguest why. According to the staff, I had some sort of requirement that was not submitted, yet not a single person from their organization could point it out. Neither did anyone inform me of anything. If this is regarding new problems they're experiencing in their network, I don't give a bull's ass. That's their problem.

The time records I had also made last December 2007 and January 2008 was lost, so instead of giving me options on how I could finish it, the staff just looked at me and said "we don't have a copy of your time records". I wanted to reply really badly with "Thank you for saying the f_cking obvious".